He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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