How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
