This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
