somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
