This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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