yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
