Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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