I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
