Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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