So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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