My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
should my penis look like a turkey
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
