im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think i got beer on your cat.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
