I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
