A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
