i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
