Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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