There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
