I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
