so explain again why im purple
no
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
