i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
