New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
