found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
