We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
