I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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