oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
