You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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