I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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