You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
