A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize