My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
