just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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