She announced her abortion via fbk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
