Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
