I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
