I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
