i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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