Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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