i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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