Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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