Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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