he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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