Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize