So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
