i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
