can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
