i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize