She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
