I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize