Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
