More tranny stories later!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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