Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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