They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
