Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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