I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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