We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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