Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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