she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
do herpes really smell.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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